Holding myself to a higher standard
It's a lie i tell myself to push forward
I have changed to fit around those who i love
I have failed and fell
No matter what i do
I have picked up everyone's pieces
Prevented them from falling apart
Using pieces of me
Now im falling like a dried tree
Part by part, branch by branch
Im here,
Just a static figure,
Observing, unnoticed.
Rotting
"Looking pretty" ha! Not.
When did i loose?
When did i fucked up?
When did i started to think,
That anyone else would like me.
Im so disgustingly stupid.
Burn me in a glacier
Freeze me to just become
What i already was.
A column, a center piece of decoration
A trap for your anger,
A sight for your "whats happening after"
Am i a plot for everyone's jealousy?
Or am i the joke of everyone's secrecy?
What am i?
Who am i?
To you? To him? To her?
I am but a pile of ashes
I am the like of the wind when crashes
Disintegrating
Fast and slow,
Becoming mud when it rains
and brittle when im dried.
And people just expect me to cry,
Then what?
Be ok?
Answer me god dammit!
Find me!
Or just tell me if you wanna see me rot
And no, im not being dramatic
Im always in the mudding stage
Just waiting
for the next piece of me to be played with
With a fucking smile
Then never put back
Disintegrating
Waiting
Sleeping
Disintegrating
Waiting
Sleeping
And burning my time out
Disintegrating
